Advice For Helping A Loved One With Depression

Mental health nurse, Shauna Gallagher gives advice for someone who wants to help a loved one who is suffering from depression.

Many of you reading this won’t have a diagnosis of depression but will be wondering what you can do to help a loved one who does. You may even have been trying for many years to help but have almost given up because you don’t know what else you can do – even the person with depression doesn’t know what to suggest anymore. Or you may be wanting to reach out to someone for the first time but aren’t sure what to do.

Here are a few practical suggestions to help you be of assistance:

Be a listening ear – at times, this is all that is needed. Understand though, there may be times they don’t feel up to talking.

Don’t fob off their pain by saying things like, “You’ll be fine” or “Think happier thoughts and you will feel better”.  Whilst changing the thought patterns contributes to recovery, it’s not the only answer.

Give practical help. For example; are they struggling to prepare nutritious meals or even eat at all due to their depression? Perhaps prepare a few nutritious meals to put in their freezer or offering to run to the shops for them so they have some healthy snacks on hand (nuts, fruit etc.). Go for a walk with them so they do some exercise.

Set them up so they can easily play some music or listen to relaxation exercises. (When the brain isn’t working well, it’s very difficult to arrange even the simplest thing).

Take them out for a coffee, call them for a chat, pop in for a visit, offer transport if that’s an issue (even if they can drive, when they are at their lowest, they may not feel confident to drive themselves or to go by themselves).

Let them know if you notice any changes that may contribute to a recurrence of their depression if left unchecked e.g. declining invitations.

As a support person, whether you are a close relative or an acquaintance wanting to help, you need to understand that you can’t solve all their issues.  You can only be a support. Boundaries are important to all of life, and it is no different when you are being a support person. You need to be mindful of your abilities, time availability and other responsibilities too.

Depression is a devastating illness for the person and this has flow on affects in all areas of their life and on others around them. By having a multi-faceted approach to recovery, a brighter future can be worked towards and relationships maintained or restored.

Something noteworthy to remember – Your faith and faith practices are necessary as a part of your mental and physical well-being. It should be no great surprise that what science is finding today was written in the Bible many years ago.

“I waited patiently for the Lord to help me,

and he turned to me and heard my cry.

He lifted me out of the pit of despair,

out of the mud and the mire.

He set my feet on solid ground and

steadied me as I walked along.

He has given me a new song to sing,

a hymn of praise to our God.

Many will see what he has

done and be amazed.

They will put their trust in the Lord.”

Psalm 40:1-3 (NLT)

By Shauna Gallagher – Christian author & mental health nurse who works as a group facilitator, educating her clients on cognitive behavioural therapy. She has her master’s degree in mental health nursing. Shauna has been a Christian for over thirty-five years and has been involved in the life of the church by leading playgroups and youth groups, worship leading and coordinating women’s ministry teams. She’s also the author of Christian children’s book, ‘Take A Big Breath.’

References

Psychology Today – https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/think-well/201605/why-the-best-therapy-is-biopsychosocial-process

Psych Scene – https://psychscenehub.com/psychinsights/the-simplified-guide-to-the-gut-brain-axis/

Mental Health Social Support – http://www.mhss.net.au/research-and-statistics