According to the Gottman Institute there are ‘3 betrayals that ruin Relationships (that are not Infidelity)’
What is infidelity?
Infidelity is considered the worst betrayal by a partner. Cheating sexually on a partner is infidelity. Whether the partner has an affair, or a one off sexual encounter it is a huge violation of trust. However there are other types of betrayal that can go unnoticed but are equally as damaging.
Emotional Cheating – it can start off as a friendship with a work colleague who becomes a close friend or it can commence with someone at the supermarket checkouts. There is no particular place, however it occurs outside of the home where people form a bond that can pose a threat to the current relationship with the spouse or partner at home.
Although these ‘friendships’ are of a non-sexual nature, they can lead to spouse/partner betrayal as the persons can share intimate information about their lives with each other. The real threat is that by allowing ourselves to become too emotionally close to someone outside of our current relationship it can lead to betrayal. How do you measure what betrayal is in this instance? Ask yourselves if your partner would agree to your relationship and if the answer is no, then it can be classified as emotional cheating.
Conditional Love – We like to feel secure in our relationships but when one partner doesn’t try we sometimes attempt with a struggle to hang onto them. The betrayed person can become a trigger for blame when the actual problem is due to a lack of commitment.
The pressure on a partner who has to live up to the other person’s expectations or put up with the consequences of not receiving love from them is a major letdown in a relationship. The lack of commitment to each other can result in lack of bonding in a relationship causing conflict.
Emotional Withdrawal – We all express ourselves in different ways. In committed relationships we need to feel protected, loved and supported.
Not supporting a partner when they need the emotional support or choosing other things over important family functions can begin with something small but turn into something big.
Life has its ups and downs and partners are required to be there for one another during these difficult times. We need emotional support that keeps us connected to one another.
Not being there for your partner can have devastating results in your relationship.
Source: The Gottman Institute – 3 Betrayals That Ruin Relationships (That Aren’t Infidelity)
Where To Get Help
If you or someone you know needs help there are several ways you can get it.
Seek the help of your doctor.
Search for a professional counsellor near you www.theaca.net.au
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