Why Old Patterns Still Show Up in Christian Growth

Reading Time: 7 minutes

Why Growth Still Feels Hard:

What Counsellors and Coaches Need to Understand About the “Old Self” and the “New Self”

For many Christians, one of the most confusing parts of spiritual growth is this: if Christ has made us new, why do old patterns still show up?

Why do fear, insecurity, reactivity, pride, avoidance, people-pleasing, anger, self-protection, or unhealthy habits keep surfacing, even when someone genuinely wants to follow Jesus?

This question matters for every believer. But it matters even more for those preparing to support others through counselling, coaching, ministry, pastoral care, or discipleship.

If you are considering study in Christian counselling or coaching, this is not just a theological question. It is a formation question. It shapes how you understand yourself, how you respond to struggle, and how you walk with other people in their pain and growth.

Michael Bräutigam, in Flourishing in Tensions: Embracing Radical Discipleship, offers a helpful way of understanding this reality. He describes the Christian life as lived in the tension between the old self and the new self. His point is clear: renewal in Christ is real, but it is also ongoing. The Christian life involves daily transformation, daily surrender, and daily renewal.

That is a deeply important truth for anyone preparing to work with people.

We Are New in Christ — But Renewal Is Ongoing

Bräutigam reflects on Paul’s teaching that the inner self is being renewed “day by day”. This language is important because it reminds us that Christian maturity is not instant. Conversion is real, but formation is progressive.

Paul writes:

2 Corinthians 4:16 
“Therefore we don’t faint, but though our outward person is decaying, yet our inward person is renewed day by day.”

This verse holds together two realities at once. There is weakness, decline, pressure, and limitation on the outside. Yet there is also genuine renewal taking place on the inside.

That is an important framework for anyone entering the helping professions. Counselling and coaching are not built on the assumption that change is immediate or linear. Growth is often gradual. It involves setbacks, repeated choices, and deeper layers being exposed over time.

For Christian practitioners, that should not discourage us. It should ground us. The work of transformation is often slower and deeper than people expect.

Why Do Old Patterns Keep Showing Up?

One of the most practical insights Bräutigam explores is that the old self does not simply disappear without resistance. Even after a person comes to Christ, old ways of thinking and living still need to be put off.

Paul says:

Colossians 3:9–10 
“Don’t lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old man with his doings, and have put on the new man, who is being renewed in knowledge after the image of his Creator.”

Notice the tension in the passage. Believers have put off the old self and put on the new. But the new self is also still “being renewed”. That means Christian identity is settled in Christ, while Christian formation continues in practice.

This is one reason people can sincerely love God and still find themselves wrestling with familiar behaviours, distorted beliefs, emotional triggers, or entrenched coping strategies. The presence of struggle does not automatically mean the absence of faith. Often it means the process of sanctification is still unfolding.

That matters in counselling and coaching. If we do not understand this tension, we can become simplistic in how we interpret change. We may expect too much too quickly. We may confuse spiritual sincerity with emotional maturity. Or we may misread recurring struggle as failure, when in fact it may be part of the deeper work God is doing.

“I Die Every Day”: The Call to Daily Surrender

Bräutigam also points to the New Testament’s language of daily death and renewal. Christian growth is not merely about self-improvement. It is about surrender. It is about the ongoing putting to death of the old way of being and the raising up of the new.

Paul writes:

1 Corinthians 15:31 
“I affirm, by the boasting in you which I have in Christ Jesus our Lord, I die daily.”

And again:

Colossians 3:1–5 
“If then you were raised together with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated on the right hand of God. Set your mind on the things that are above, not on the things that are on the earth. For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, our life, is revealed, then you will also be revealed with him in glory. Put to death therefore your members which are on the earth: sexual immorality, uncleanness, depraved passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.”

This is strong language, but it is deeply practical. It tells us that the Christian life involves intentional participation. We do not passively drift into maturity. We actively surrender old patterns, submit ourselves to Christ, and learn to live in alignment with what is now true of us.

For a future counsellor or coach, that matters professionally as well as personally. If you are going to walk with others through change, you need your own framework for how change happens. You need language for repentance, renewal, resistance, identity, growth, and grace. You need to know what it means to keep returning to Christ, not as a one-off event, but as a daily pattern.

Sanctification Is Not Instant — But It Is Real

Bräutigam’s discussion aligns with the Christian doctrine of sanctification: the ongoing process by which believers are transformed into the likeness of Christ.

This is not behaviour management. It is not image control. It is not pretending to have arrived. It is a real work of God, worked out over time in the life of a believer.

Paul writes:

Ephesians 4:22–24 
“That you put away, as concerning your former way of life, the old man that grows corrupt after the lusts of deceit; and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and put on the new man, who in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of truth.”

There is both honesty and hope in this passage. The old self is corrupt. The mind needs renewing. The new self has been created in righteousness and holiness.

For those considering AIFC study, this is highly relevant. Christian counselling and coaching are not only about helping people solve problems. They are about supporting change that is personal, relational, emotional, spiritual, and practical. That requires more than techniques. It requires a robust understanding of how transformation works in the Christian life.

Why This Matters for Counselling and Coaching Students

If you want to support others well, you need to understand the complexity of being human.

People are rarely one-dimensional. They may be faithful and fearful. Growing and struggling. Insightful and reactive. Hopeful and tired. Deeply committed to God, yet still entangled in habits or beliefs that need healing and renewal.

This is why Christian formation matters so much in counsellor and coach development.

A person preparing for helping work needs more than theory. They need increasing self-awareness. They need emotional maturity. They need theological depth. They need humility about their own unfinished growth. And they need confidence that the Spirit of God is at work even in slow, difficult, and imperfect processes.

Scripture gives us that framework.

Romans 12:2
“Don’t be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what is the good, well-pleasing, and perfect will of God.”

Transformation happens through renewal. That includes the renewing of how we think, how we interpret our lives, how we relate to others, and how we understand God, ourselves, and the world.

That is why Christian counselling and coaching education matters. It gives students the opportunity to grow in both skill and formation. It helps them develop the capacity to respond wisely, biblically, and relationally in the complexity of real life.

You Cannot Take Others Where You Are Unwilling to Go

One of the clearest implications of Bräutigam’s work is that discipleship requires participation. Renewal may be God’s work, but it is not disconnected from our response.

This is especially important in the helping professions. It is possible to want the role of counsellor, coach, or ministry leader without giving enough attention to one’s own formation. But when that happens, helping work can become shallow, reactive, or overly technique-driven.

The stronger path is to let your own life be shaped as you learn.

Paul writes:

Galatians 5:16–17 (WEB)
“But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you won’t fulfill the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, that you may not do the things that you desire.”

Again, the Christian life is described as a tension. There is conflict. There is resistance. There is a battle between old impulses and the leading of the Spirit. But there is also direction: walk by the Spirit.

That is a realistic and hopeful framework for students. You do not need to have everything resolved before you begin. But you do need to be willing to be formed. You need to be willing to have your own patterns exposed, your own assumptions challenged, and your own life increasingly brought under the leadership of Christ.

Flourishing Does Not Mean the Absence of Struggle

One of the strengths of Bräutigam’s perspective is that he does not define flourishing as ease. He frames it as faithful living within tension.

That is a needed corrective today.

Flourishing is not pretending the old self is gone when it is not. It is not bypassing pain. It is not hiding weakness behind ministry language. It is not demanding instant maturity from ourselves or others.

True flourishing is learning to live honestly before God, being renewed by His Spirit, and continuing to put off the old self while putting on the new.

That is a mature vision of Christian growth. It also provides a healthier foundation for anyone preparing to work with people in pain, conflict, grief, identity questions, relational breakdown, or spiritual confusion.

You will meet people who are sincere but tired. Committed but stuck. Hopeful but overwhelmed. As a Christian counsellor or coach, you need a framework that can hold both truth and process, conviction and compassion, identity and struggle.

This is part of what strong training helps develop.

Thinking About Studying Counselling or Coaching?

If you are exploring study in Christian counselling or coaching, this is worth considering carefully: the training is not only about what you will do for others. It is also about who you are becoming.

At AIFC, that matters.

The work of counselling and coaching requires more than helpful advice. It requires wisdom, discernment, self-awareness, relational skill, and a grounded understanding of Christian formation. It asks you to understand people honestly, respond carefully, and keep growing yourself.

Michael Bräutigam’s reflection on the old self and new self is a timely reminder that Christian maturity is not automatic. It is a daily work of renewal. For those preparing to walk alongside others, that truth is not peripheral. It is foundational.

If you are sensing a call to support people well — through counselling, coaching, pastoral care, or discipleship — investing in your own formation and training is a serious and worthwhile step.

Final Thought

The Christian life includes tension. The old self does not disappear without resistance. Growth is often slower than we would like. But renewal in Christ is real, and God is at work in His people day by day.

For future counsellors and coaches, that truth brings both humility and confidence. Humility, because none of us are beyond the need for ongoing renewal. Confidence, because transformation does not rest on our strength alone.

It is the work of God, formed over time, as we continue to surrender, grow, and be made new.

Source Referenced

Bräutigam, Michael, Flourishing in Tensions: Embracing Radical Discipleship.