Losing control of anger on a regular basis may mean that there’s an underlying issue worth probing into. To diagnose an anger management problem, a mental health professional will look at patterns or trends in an individual’s behaviour, taking into account their physical and emotional symptoms as well. Anger is a completely normal and healthy emotion, but we don’t all manage it well. Losing our cool from time to time doesn’t mean we have anger management issues.
Disappointments in life can make us angry or upset. They happen to anyone at any time and quite often do.
Some situations that can result in anger
• The car won’t start in the morning making you late for work
• A huge bill arrived in the post
• Your spouse said the wrong thing
• Something isn’t where you left it
• Things didn’t go according to plan
• The house floods
When there’s excessive anger present lasting for long periods of time, even over days, weeks, months or years it can be really harmful to the self as well as affecting others around us. When our anger results in violent and aggressive behaviour we need to seek the help of a professional counsellor who can help uncover underlying issues at play that haven’t yet been resolved.
Suppressed anger controlled by fear and shame
Suppressed anger or unresolved anger is probably the worst type of anger that flows out of the core of a person impacting on their thinking, behaviour, choices and how they deal with difficult situations. Suppressing anger does nothing to eliminate it and robs a person of any emotional security, destroying any true peace of mind and their overall sense of well being.
Growing up angry
In some families children who are taught to hide their real feelings and emotions viewed by the adults as a weakness learn to suppress them. Some kids do this out of fear and shame. When we don’t teach children techniques to manage their emotions they learn to suppress their feelings. As a result they can become angry. In a healthy environment the expression of anger is allowed and anger management is taught. Traumatic experiences during childhood, teen years and as adults can leave a lot of unresolved anger in a person. Adults & children who have anger management issues can learn anger management skills to benefit every area of their life.
The Neurochemical in Anger used to self soothe
During anger arousal the brain secretes a hormone called norepinephrine, experienced by the organism as an analgesic. It is the hormone designed to numb physical or psychological pain is released during anger when a person is confronted either of the two. It can also be accompanied by an adrenaline rush. Some people can become addicted to their anger due to feeling empowered by it.
“If anger can help us self-medicate against all sorts of psychological pain, it is equally effective in helping ward off exasperating feelings of powerlessness” Leon F. Seltzer Ph.D.
Real Empowerment
For some people the idea of remaining angry and not forgiving others who have hurt them can give a false sense of security as a form of self empowerment. However, anger and unforgiveness matures into bitterness.
Actions can’t be taken back by those that hurt us. What forgiveness does is it frees us from the energy drain and burden of maintaining that connection with the past. Forgiveness heals and frees a person empowering them to move forward. It can be extremely difficult to forgive someone; it’s a liberating and healing experience for those who do.
Basically if we don’t forgive we are permitting the past to keep hurting us repeatedly over and over again. To recover lost energy we need to extend forgiveness and reclaim our lives moving forward in victory.
We often carry guilt, self judgement and condemnation that is harmful to us. As a result we may also need to forgive ourselves.
When we take responsibility for ourselves, we begin to heal and grow. If you’re losing control of your anger, reach out to someone for help.
Romans 12:2
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”
Sources
Ways to Deal with Anger in the Christian Perspective – Seattle Christian Counselling – Rick McGregor
Leon F Seltzer Ph.D. Evolution of the Self – What your anger may be hiding.
Where to Get Help in Australia
Talk to your doctor for help with anger management or seek the help of a professional counsellor.
Visit CCAA to search for a Christian counsellor near you.
Visit ACA to search for a counsellor near you.
Free 24/7 Counselling Services
Lifeline on 13 11 14
Kids Helpline on 1800 551 800
MensLine Australia on 1300 789 978
Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467
Beyond Blue on 1300 22 46 36
Headspace on 1800 650 890
Studying at aifc
Have you thought about counselling? It’s a great opportunity to lend an ear and show Grace to the hurting out in the community.
For those who would like to enrol in aifc’s accredited Christian counselling courses we have two intakes per year for courses commencing around the following months:
- At The beginning of each year in February.
- Mid-Year courses commence in July.
Enrolments open approximately 3 months prior the courses commencing. Enquire now by filling out the form with your details to receive course information by email.
Note: A Masters course in Christian counselling will be introduced in 2018.
Contact aifc Monday to Friday from 9am – 5pm with your enquiries on 6242 5111 or toll free on 1300 721 397
Have you thought about becoming a qualified counsellor? It’s a great opportunity to learn how you can extend God's love and grace to the hurting out in the community.
For those who would like to enrol in aifc’s accredited Christian counselling courses we have two intakes per year for courses commencing around the following months:
Enrolment Season - opens approximately 2 months prior to our courses commencing. Enrol online here during our enrolment season.
We also offer two modes of study:
A Master of Counselling course was introduced in 2018.