Manage Anger To Keep Your Job

We’ve all had days where everything goes wrong, your boss is furious at you over something that’s out of your control, a project goes terribly wrong, you’re being taken for granted, aren’t valued in the workplace or you’re just on work overload without enough hours in the day to finish it all.   Your heart pounds, you want to scream, kick your desk or yell at someone for a quick release.

How do you get through those infuriating moments in the workplace?

Recognising and understanding our anger is the first step to managing your emotions with self-control.

Reasons we get angry:

•A RESPONSE to a person, situation, or event, to an imaginary or anticipated event, or to memories of traumatic or enraging situations.

•A RESPONSE to a real or perceived injustice or hurt— in the form of frustration, betrayal, deprivation, injustice, exploitation, manipulation, criticism, violence, disapproval, humiliation, intimidation, threats, etc.

•A RESPONSE when a boundary in our lives has been crossed.

We can become angry but we are responsible for what we do with it. Here are some ways in which we can diffuse and manage anger.

ACTION STEPS

The goal is not to be “anger free.” Instead, it is to control your response to present anger: both the emotional and biological arousal anger may cause.

1. See It

Focus on the source of the anger:

•List the triggers

•Until you can control the anger, avoid triggers as much as possible.

•Evaluate the history of anger expressed in your life.

Note: It is possible that the anger one feels today is not due to a “trigger,” but is instead rooted in anger from one’s past. For example, you many become angry at your current boss for being demanding. You might be thinking “this man is heartless—the same as my father was.” Such anger is misdirected to the boss, who is not heartless.

Learn to identify anger before it is out of control. Identify how you feel physically when experiencing anger:

•Identify angry feelings while they are still minor.

•State out loud, “I’m feeling angry right now.”

•Be aware of the first warning signs of anger, which may be physical changes. Anger promotes a sympathetic nervous system response (a physical state of readiness) and the following biological changes: rising heart rate and blood pressure, amplified alertness, tensed muscles, dilated pupils, lowered digestion, clenched fists, flared nostrils, bulged veins.

2. Delay It

Brainstorm ways to delay the expression of anger:

•Take a “time out”; temporarily disengage from the situation if possible (20 minute minimum).

•Perform light exercise until the intensity of anger is manageable.

•“Write, don’t fight”; jot down troubling thoughts. This exercise is personal and writings should be kept private, possibly destroyed, not sent.

•Talk with a trusted friend who is unrelated to the anger-provoking situation: Don’t just vent—ask for constructive advice.

•Pray about the anger, asking God to show you insight.

•Learn the value of calming. A person in a state of fury is not equipped to deal healthily with an anger-provoking situation. Calming will help you let some of your angry feelings subside before expressing anger in a healthy way.

3. Control It

Brainstorm some ways to express anger in a healthy way:

•Respond, don’t react.

•Maintain a healthy distance until you can speak constructively (James 1:19).

•Confront to restore, not to destroy.

•Empathise (yelling is a failure to empathise). Speak slowly and quietly (makes yelling difficult).

•Surrender the right for revenge (Romans 12:19).

Note: If anger begins to escalate to wrath or fury, that is not the time to engage in interactions with others. Instead, temporarily redirect your energy to solo activities, or re-establish calm, before confronting others.

4. Own It

Develop a plan of action:

•Find an accountability partner

•Join an anger management group

•Consider follow up by professional (Counselling? Medication?)

Note: Underlying issues such as deep emotional wounds that have been identified in counselling need to be considered. Make plans to work on such issues through additional counselling (with you or by referral to another professional) and/or support groups.

“It is better to be patient than powerful; it is better to have self-control than to conquer a city.”

— PROVERBS 16:32

Anger is usually at the core of many of our most violent and prevalent social problems like rape, domestic violence, substance abuse, and suicide.

“Anyone can become angry. That is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose and in the right way — that is not easy”.

— ARISTOTLE

If you are out of peace at work you may want to talk to a professional counsellor.

Search for one near you www.theaca.net.au

24 Hour Emergency Counselling Services

Lifeline on 13 11 14

Kids Helpline on 1800 551 800

Men’s Line Australia on 1300 789 978

Sources:

©The Australian Human Rights Commission

Tim Clinton: http://www.timclinton.com/articles/7/anger/

Image courtesy of: www.freedigitalphotos.net / Mister GC