5 Ways To Nurture Connection with your Spouse - aifc

Nurturing a healthy connection with our spouse requires commitment, coupled with a desire to build a bond that really lasts. We can include creative ways of being intentional for building a strong loving relationship by demonstrating love in ways that involve actions rather than words. Being creative injects fun and excitement into the marriage. Below are some examples.

1.Early Saturday Morning Drives

As the weekend approaches, I look forward to heading out for our early Saturday morning drives with my husband. We pick a spot to enjoy our early morning breakfast and coffee in each other’s company. It’s become a tradition that has enabled us to stay connected with one another to enjoy some fun times, create new memories, have a few laughs and really build on our relationship.

Going out together on any given day or night adds to the great memories we can create. There are so many options; such as going for walks at the crack of dawn or enjoying a sunset together.

2.Focus on Your Spouse’s Positives
Being our spouse’s encouragement and cheer squad (Genesis 2:24) means really knowing all their good points and letting them know that you’ve noticed.  Focusing on the negatives will blind us to the positives. Being appreciative of the little things done for us can stop us from taking one another for granted.

3.Celebrate Your Anniversary
Admittedly I’d neglected celebrating our anniversary for many years for not really understanding what the fuss was all about. Then I had a change of heart after gaining some understanding that the celebration wasn’t so much about ‘the fuss’ itself, but rather about building connection. When we began going out dinner dates there was excitement as we picked a place together that we’d both enjoy.  I’m so glad we’ve chosen that path. Our special day is something we mutually look forward to. Anniversaries keep us focused on the future as we celebrate our successes and another year together.

Also know dates that mean a lot to your spouse, such birthdays and try to put away the mobile phone.

couple having coffee

4. Affection & Intimacy
Marked by affection and warmth, the intimacy a married couple share is another way couples feel profoundly connected.

5. Ask Questions
Ask the right questions to show interest and find out more about your spouse. See the examples below.

  • How was your day today?
    A simple conversation starter to allow your spouse to share specifics about their work day. It helps for understanding a bad mood, stress or for allowing some to de-stress.
  • Who has been the greatest influence in your life and why?
    A great question to help gain some insight into what has helped to shape your spouse into the person they are today.
  • What do you need from me right now?
    As we look to support one another, with practice this question helps takes the guess work out of the relationship.

What it’s all about
Being creative in nurturing and cultivating a healthy and loving relationship with your spouse is all about making intentional efforts for unity and love. Nothing says, “I love you’ more than personal sacrifice.  We know that from the example of what Jesus did on the cross for us.

Sandra Ciminelli
Cred.Dip.Couns. (Christian)


Bible Gateway – New Testament (NIV) 1 Peter 2:24

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