Are You Ok Dragging Those Burdens Around?

The tendency to hide our vulnerabilities when we’ve been emotionally wounded is instinctive for most of us.  As an emotional teen, I thought crying was a sign of weakness. There was a time when a stranger spotted me crying. She asked, “Are you okay?”  What a shock! This was something I wasn’t accustomed to. Even though her desire to help me was genuine, it felt like an intrusion. From then on if I noticed anyone coming towards me while I was crying, I’d avoid any interaction by walking away as fast as I could. Not wanting to share the pearls of my heart with strangers, if caught off-guard my instant response was to wipe away my tears, assure them that I was okay by saying, “Yeah sure I’m good. Thanks for asking.” and give them a forced smile while attempting to get away.  It was always uncomfortable. What was I going to do? I couldn’t open up to a stranger. Or could I?  What did I have to lose?

Experiencing overwhelming emotions combined with trust issues, I decided to bury it all deep inside. Who was I going to tell? What will they think of me?  My life was falling apart. Why did I not just jump at the chance to tell them what was going on? Recoiling back into my own world was probably the worst course of action to take.

Thinking Back, My Resistance Was A Knee Jerk Reaction For Self-Protection.

The dialogue in my head at the time went something like, “Leave me alone. I don’t need your help. I would be too ashamed to tell you what just happened. I don’t know you and why should I trust you?”  What could a stranger offer me apart from more grief and hurt with their gossip and their judgments? Even if knew the person I was never sure of whom I could trust.

Help Comes From Many Different Avenues.
Being resourceful is vital when we are experiencing a personal crisis. Knowing what to do, who to call and what services are available to us can be a huge relief during our most difficult times.

Below is a list of things we can do to help keep ourselves or another person safe.

1. Community Resources
   We are blessed to have pastors, church leaders, doctors, specialists and counsellors. Those who don’t want to speak to their church leaders may want see a doctor or a counsellor.  Trained professionals play vital roles in support of the community. When someone’s life is in danger dial 000.
2. Self Help
   Taking care of ourselves means looking after our mind, body and spirit.  In doing so we aim to function at our peak in all areas of life.
3. Friends and Family
   Having a network of those we can count on during our most difficult times is necessary. Reaching out to someone can be great for taking some of that pressure off.
4. Hotlines
   Free 24/7 counselling services like Lifeline are available for those needing someone to talk to.
   Ph: 13 11 14.
5. Prayer of Faith
   Also pray about the situation. In fact, prayer is central to the Christian faith and the number one priority for involving God in our daily lives. When we face tough times we can ask God in faith to get us through it. God’s resources are infinite.

Are You Okay?

When a stranger asks, “Are you okay?” they might actually care and be resourceful enough to point us in the right direction. If we don’t feel like opening up for lack of trust, see a pastor, doctor or see a counsellor. Trained professionals are there to help and aren’t there to judge us or abuse the information they’re entrusted with.

Depression
Our thinking patterns to change dramatically to more negative, dark and gloomy thoughts that are devoid of hope, and a usually cheerful person can even begin to experience suicidal thoughts during a bout of depression. Feelings come and go as our thinking processes can go askew. Therefore we can’t always trust our feelings nor can we trust our thinking with depression. To stay safe we can go to a local hospital, walk into a medical practice, visit a police station and tell a friend or family member. Let someone know and never act it out. It’s okay to ask for help. There is no shame in it. We all find ourselves vulnerable from time to time.

It’s okay to ask someone, “Are You thinking about suicide?” or “Have you made a plan to end your life?”  You just might save a life.
It’s okay to ask for help. It’s our human vulnerability that allows us to grow strong as we were created to be social creatures. We depend on one another.

From author and Researcher Dr. Brené Brown,“We associate vulnerability with emotions we want to avoid such as fear, shame, and uncertainty. Yet we too often lose sight of the fact that vulnerability is also the birthplace of joy, belonging, creativity, authenticity, and love.”  Book – The Power Of Vulnerability.

The truth is that more often than not, we aren’t okay dragging those heavy burdens that weigh us down. We need someone to help lighten the load.

 “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2

In my experience, church leaders who undertake counselling training stand a better chance in recognising mental health problems, and with the ethical guidelines adhered to, they can also learn skills to help them avoid hurting others and/or litigation.

Mental health needs to be on the lips of everyone in a positive way, as it affects every living human being.

Sandra Ciminelli
Cred. Dip. Couns. (Christian)