When most people would not rather think about living with the in-laws, Nicholas Marks, CEO of Australian Institute of Family Counselling, has the right idea about how it can be positive experience if we handle it right with a focus on the positives. Nicholas’ contribution to an article In the Daily Telegraph, ‘How to Live With The In-laws and Keep Your Sanity‘ is titled, ‘Rules for a Happy Household.’
Here’s a snippet from the article
“Nicholas Marks, CEO of the Australian Institute of Family Counselling, says gaining clarity on pre-existing issues and communicating them should be done before generations move in together.
“In-law relationships are viewed as being challenging because you are bringing together different family histories, heritage, culture, values and behaviour,” Nicholas says. “If a misalignment of these exists, it can lead to friction and even conflict.
“On the flipside, if you get it right, the blessings these relationships can bring for the whole family are wonderful.”
Nicholas offers these tips:
- Set boundaries around big topics such as meal times, disciplining children and what parts of the house are communal and private.
- Communication is key with regular family meetings to discuss new and unresolved issues. Seek counselling if necessary.
- If a past conflict exists, put it on the table from the very beginning.
- Discuss finances from the small items such as how utilities will be divided, through to the bigger topics such as wills and home ownership.
- Focus on the positives. There is much to be gained by everyone when generations come together under one roof.”
Read the full article in The Daily Telegraph’s Website: How to Live With The Inlaws and Keep Your Sanity
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